"9-1-1 Emergency"

Uh hello… hello is this the cop shop in Vero Beach, Florida?

 "Yes this is the 9-1-1 Emergency operator sir, what is your emergency?'

 Can I report a theft here?

 "Yes sir. How may I help you?

 I want to report a big theft.

"Where did this theft occur sir?"

Vero Beach, FL , and I think Ft. Pierce haven't seen any there either.

"Haven't see any what sir?"

Mail boxes.

"Mail Boxes?"

Yes Mam.

"What Kind of Mail Boxes Sir?"

Big ones.

"Big Ones?"

Yes Mam big ones … you know them big blue suckers that used to be on all the street corners.  Somebody took every one of  them in Vero and like I say I think Ft. Pierce too.  Can you notify their cop shop for me so I don't have to make another long distance call?

"Sir, 9-1-1 is not a long distance call you can dial it from anywhere in the state.  My caller ID shows you are calling from ….'Detroit?"

Oh yes Mam.

"Sir why are you calling from Detroit to report a crime in Vero Beach?"

I had to mail a letter and couldn't find a mail box until I got here.

"But sir … Detroit?"

Yes Mam.

"It must be awfully important to you"

Oh it is! … It's to my girlfriend! … letting her know I'm coming over this weekend.

"Where does your girl friend live?"

Melbourne …

"Sir you drove to Detroit just to mail a letter to Melbourne because you couldn't find an on street mail box?  Why not just drive to her house in Melbourne.?"

Oh! That wouldn't be polite, me just showing up on her doorstep like that.  I mean, what would people think.

"Why not just call her?"

Well, my cell phone battery died and I don't have a home phone -  and that's another thing I want to report.  If Superman came to Vero Beach, he'd better have a room at the Holiday Inn cause there ain't no place for him to change.  I'll just bet you that whoever snatched them mail boxes got the phone booths too.

Gosh lady get off the phone … you are the 9-1-1 operator … you'd better notify the FBI you guys have a major crime ring working the area.  … I'd better go lock my car, who knows what they'll take next.